The Dark Night

I'm going to tell you that last night duty were one of those days that were very taxing. You are stripped of the right to be angry to your patient. Maybe that is why they call the patients "patient" to remind you to keep your cool with them. I was feeling a steam building up in me. And when I am almost in the brink of exploding, I look at my patient, and realized that what I am feeling is nothing compared to what my patient was feeling. My loss of control was nothing compared to the extent of loss my patient is suffering. A loss of freedom to move and be wherever you want to be. A loss of freedom from pain and from uncertainty. A loss of freedom to communicate what you are feeling because of the tube through your mouth down your lungs that helps you to breath but forbades you to speak. Such loss was not my loss. It was a shame to feel what I am about to feel that instance. And then I went and gave my very best with utmost compassion and understanding.